Tempus Fugit

I haven’t written a post in thirty days. My pursuit of quietness escaped me this past month.

When I began my blog, I intended to post often, daily if possible. I saw blogging as a way to take time for reflection, to find quiet moments after a busy day, to listen to my inner voice. But May passed. After the first week, I began chastising myself for not making my writing a priority.  Like tick marks on a calendar, each day I felt a little more disappointed by my fading commitment, the feeling of lacking perseverance and discipline. A lifetime of messages from people, filled with recrimination, played over and over in my mind:  “you’re fickle,” “you tire of things,” “you’re flighty;” “you don’t stick to anything.”

If I’m true to myself, I will forgive myself. Point of fact, May was a crazy, busy month! Too bad that I let the “busyness” keep me from doing something I truly enjoy.  I was beginning to feel a rhythm in my writing process. I felt inspired, eager to journal everyday events and memories. Now I feel like I’m starting over. So be it.

As the title of tonight’s blog suggests, time in May did seem to fly by. A bulleted list of some of May’s signficant events serve as memory markers for future posts. Here goes:

1. After I finish my May 1st blog, I wait up to hear President Obama address the nation: Osama Bin Laden is dead!
2. My aunt is hospitalized. I visit her a couple of times.
3. My aunt is released. I visit her at home a couple of times.
4. Mother’s Day I go to church and then get my nails done.
5. I have a birthday and turn 61. How could I be 61? I am in denial.
6. On my actual birthday (two days after Mother’s Day), my children and grandchildren come for pizza and cake for my birthday/Mother’s Day.
7. My granddaughter, Ella, receives the sacraments of Confirmation and First Communion on the evening of May 11th.
8. Frank and I attend the wedding of his niece/god-daughter on May 14th. Beautiful bride; fun time.
9. On Monday, May 16th, I have to take a PTO day because my license expired on my birthday and I thought I had until the end of the month to renew. I spend time in everyone’s favorite place, the DMV.
10. Since I am off anyway, I take a trip to the Blood lab to have multiple vials drawn in preparation for my upcoming yearly physical.
11. The next day I have my yearly physical. I am pronounced in good health, but reminded that if I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up, I should work on taking off weight (my personal anthem).
12. On the 12th, after work, I have a hair appointment. Holly, my hair dresser daughter-in-law is on maternity leave. Sandy fills in and is complicit with me in giving me more highlights, much to Holly’s chagrin. My plan is that the gray will eventually be blond (all the old women do that!)
13. The evening of May 19th I attend the VIP reception for our newest store: “Blue, a Goodwill Boutique.” Fabulous, absolutely fabulous, AND I spend money.
14. The next night, Friday, the 20th, I attend the wedding of my cousin’s daughter. Gorgeous bride; fun time. My cousin looks like Teresa Guidice from the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Carla and Giovanni are the bride and groom – you figure it out.
15. The evening of the 21st, Val, Steve, Roz, Tom, Frank and I go out to celebrate my birthday. My choice is to see “Bridesmaids” with Kristin Wiig – loved it. Dinner afterwards at Romeo’s, a local Italian eatery. Then to Val and Steve’s for presents, cake and some Texas Hold ‘Em. Fun, fun night.
16. Memorial Day weekend Frank and I do yard work. In between I am sick. We also go to Julie’s for Ella’s Communion/Confirmation party. Then we come home and do more yard work Sunday and Monday. We also rent “Social Network.” Since I am a Facebook junkie, I enjoy the movie.
17. We are tired from all the yard work so we watch a lot of movies. We watch “Up” and some eighties “classics.” Last night we finish things off with “Despicable Me.”

And there you have it. Let’s not forget working, housecleaning, seeing one or more of my kids and grandkids, going to mass, making plans with Ginny to take Cameron to Washington in June, etc., etc.

My eighth grade teacher used to say, “Tempus Fugit,” Latin for “time flees.” It sure does. And, I notice as I get older, time goes faster and faster and I go slower and slower. That’s why blogging is good for me; it helps me remember, reflect and renew. The pursuit of quietness – the search for my authentic self lives.