It’s been almost five days since I wrote my last blog. I’ve missed sitting here quietly at my computer recording my thoughts and feelings. For me, blogging is good therapy. When I write, I feel better about almost everything. I am keeping a notebook where I jot down ideas for themes as they find their way into my brain. There isn’t really a theme tonight, I just need to write.
Last Saturday I was up early, busy most of the day cleaning and preparing for a baby shower. Saturday evening we celebrated my granddaughter’s 8th birthday. When I got home from her party, I started preparing the hot dishes for the shower on Sunday. My sister came over and we worked steadily until almost midnight! Sunday morning I was up and at it very early, finishing food preparations, decorating, wrapping and setting tables. Thirty women convened on my house just after 12:30 p.m. and I think it was a success. Jess seemed to enjoy herself as did most of the guests. I want to write a blog about the shower, but I can’t get in the right frame of mind just now.
By Sunday night when the last of my family left, I was exhausted and had a terrible headache. Sometime during the night it happened. I got it. The “bug.” The intestinal flu, the stomach aches, headaches, etc. — you know the symptoms. It knocked me for a loop and I didn’t get back to work until today. Today I was up at 4:30 a.m., texting a fellow leader from work, determining if the weather and roads were okay for employees’ safe travel. All the hype for a major snowstorm and it fizzled. I was at my desk just after 7:30 this morning, eager to start catching up from the last few days out of the office. I had no formal appointments scheduled for today and planned to do get work done on some big projects. But plans change and, as so often is the case in my field, it felt as though I frittered the day away.
The commute home was a white-knuckle adventure. Last year, just before Christmas, I had a really bad accident on the New York State thruway and totaled my car. I now drive in fear when even so much as a dusting of snow is on the ground. Tonight the snow was falling at a fairly steady rate, the roads were icy and slushy, and it felt like it would take forever to get home safely.
Slow traffic tends to make my mind wander. I started thinking about all the family and friends who are in Florida or other warm places now. I felt envious of them, and wished I could be off somewhere warm and sunny with nary a care in the world. I felt overwhelmed thinking about all the projects I have at work and all the projects I have at home. I chastised myself for being the world’s biggest procrastinator. I thought about Frank and decided we should spend more time together as a couple. I made immediate amends and promised myself that I would make a list the very minute I got home. Alas, the very minute I got home, my hubby greeted me, chirping about his day and wanting to talk to me about things. So, for the next hour or so we talked. And, it was good that we did.
I must confess to a pity party for myself earlier this evening. But, then, talking with Frank helped me see the joy in the past days’ events. Sunday’s baby shower was a big success. I got to spend Saturday with my beautiful children and grandchildren. OK, so I was sick a day or two — so are lots of other people this winter. I have a great job and work with wonderful people. It’s super busy because it’s such an exciting time in the history of our organization! My house projects will get done; it’s okay if it takes a couple of months. There isn’t much to do outdoors now anyway.
I’m not exactly sure what to title this blog; I’ll have to give it some thought. I rambled. I vented. I feel better. So, what about the list I promised I would do? What about the plans for work and home and being with Frank? Well, Frank is with me and all is well. He encourages me to relax by writing and understands how in such a short time it’s become so important. I have a smile on my face. I found some quiet time tonight and that’s probably the best thing I could have done for myself. And, as Scarlett O’Hara said, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”